Talking to a colleague the other day about our experiences of personal therapy bought me to the conclusion that as therapists we try really hard to not be seen as the wise experts in the counselling relationship, so, if we are not the experts who are we?
We all have to go through therapy as counsellors and psychotherapists ourselves before or during training. The point of enforced therapy is to appreciate what it is like for clients, getting to know your therapist, and dealing with your feelings about them, their judgements, your own process and personal journey. I have had two therapists – both very different, one a particularly unpleasant experience which I always keep in mind so helping me always keep my client’s needs of a comfortable environment.
My own first therapist firstly changed location; originally we met in a difficult to find parking organised holistic centre to her counselling adapted front room. Yes, the parking was significantly easier … her white carpets so you have to take your shoes off at the door policy was not. Nor the uncomfortable repetitive chit chats whilst I attempted to lace up my difficult footwear at the door, “ouu you’ve bought the sun with you” every week – the same. My second therapist, although a more comfortable therapy (in the room) experience would also do things to annoy me – turn up just as the appointment was about to start.
These annoying and fruitful experiences, have taught me the importance of making the environment easy, comfortable and warm for clients. When designing your therapy room sit in the clients seat and look at what they can see, walk through from the door to the room and experience what they do, call yourself and listen to your answerphone message and most importantly be there before them!
The second reason why personal therapy is so important is of course like all clients we look at our own emotional stuff and baggage and deal with issues in our lives. However I wonder if this process ever stops?
When in role as a therapist we are also in role as a client, so much of our work in the relationship comes from looking at how we react, our own feelings and processes. We then take this to supervision where (although not therapy) it’s not the facts and figures that matter but the way we feel and perceive clients, our blind spots that stop clients moving forward.
So, in conclusion if we are always examining our own perspectives and emotions in a contained and deep way are we always engaging in some level of our own therapeutic work?
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