Late 2018, I decided to stop spending money. After an adult lifetime of spend, spend, spend I decided to live frugally for a year. I have always worked hard, peaking at 73hours a week, since I was fifteen years old. With this came a sense of retail freedom, I could buy most of things I wanted instantly.
I realised that I was living amongst boxes when a colleague made a comical remark about the parcel mountain on my desk each day. My spending as out of control. Several daily hours were taken up by browsing sites, seeking out the best bargain on anything and everything and making sure I was not missing out an opportunity for a free extra gift with a minimum purchase of £60. By the end of 2018, I had had enough! I was ready to change.
Stuck in a rut with my life, I realised through clinical supervision that I was using online shopping as a form of dissociation. I was filling my life with parcels, stuff I already owned, didn’t need and the same white top from five different shops. I knew I wanted to save more and stop buying so I read up. Article after article about how much not spending money gave people the freedom I craved.
Cait Flanders – no spend year was eye opening. It gave me a starting point of how to compile a No Spend List. This, is essentially a simple list of things you HAVE to spend money on (i.e. mortgage, utilities – after all the goal is not to be homeless at the end of the year!) and how to really decipher where you need to spend money. In reality for me this was in very few places. I started with a list of things I did not need journals, pens (Cait asks me to think realistically how many have I used up in a lifetime); lunch; the same white top from a different shop?). She’s right – there was so much I already had. I was not to give things away and buy new things to try and minimalist living – this is counterproductive.
I decided that my necessary spend of January 2019 onwards would be:
- Water (I drink a lot of this and enjoy Evian)
- Nails (a lifetime of biting nails had ended and I now enjoyed long talons, I wasn’t ready to give them up)
- Brow shaping (let’s be honest – this is a necessity)
- Socialising (I’d made lots of attempts to work less, and socialise more and I didn’t want to undo this. my social life was fragile and I’d worked hard at keeping friendships prior to 2018 so was keen to socialise but would give myself a reasonable budget per time I went out. I also figured that this was overall good for me).
- Presents (I made a list of the people I wanted to buy for and kept to a budget).
January was hard … very, very hard! It reminded me of the days I used to be a substance misuse worker and would see people struggling with urges. I sanctimoniously and ignorantly encouraged them that this was a passing 45second thought and they could beat it. Now I wasn’t so sure for myself….
Preview next blog …
I garnered little support from those around me. most thoughts I’d never do it, others irritated by my constant waffling and those who humoured me, thinking I was in one of my fads. What they didn’t know is that I am quite a determined person, when something feels right, I connect with it emotionally, spiritually then my brain follows with commitment and execution...